Love of the Old Foe
by everythinghasitstime
Summary: A need grabbed her then, a need to leave, to get out, to go away, to hide and to not be found. Hermione leaves Ron heartbroken and in an emotional daze. But will she find anyone to love and who will help her to put back the pieces of her heart. HG/DM
1. Chapter 1

**Hello lovely reader! This is my first Potter based fic so please be nice while I get my voice. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 1-**

** The end is just the start**

_'Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love. Whether it's a world, or a relationship… everything has its time. And everything ends'_

For everyone else the end of the war had meant moving forward with their lives and loves. But not for Hermione. Though on the outside Ron and she were a couple recovering from the struggle of the war, but in reality their relationship was not recovering and certainly was not moving forward. In front of the others, it was as if they were just playing parts in their own secret play. Every touch, every glance it was just for show, the moment they were alone the false affection just fell away to silence. It wasn't as if they had even fallen out, no, they just had nothing to say to one another, no love for one another. She felt they just clung to one another in some way to just hold on to what they had felt although _that_ had long passed. Hermione had growing suspicions that they had never truly _loved_ each other, they were just drawn together by the need they both shared to have someone hold them and tell them it was all going to be ok during the war. And it just kind of stuck and became habit.

Then another voice rose inside her mind, it thought they had loved not long after the end, the feeling of hope in the new world was thick over everyone, she's moved to the Burrow to be with him. To have him hold her while she slept. She thought that they were in love, and felt it would last. They would talk for hours sat up on the hills around the Burrow until the sun left them in darkness. The way he used to look at her made skin tingle with anticipation and Hermione could see that he felt him the same. Though eventually without anything specific happening to change a thing between them, it did, their talking slowed and stopped and after that he stopped touching her when they were not playing the happy couple. The change was so subtle she's barely noticed it at the time but bit by bit their relationship just stopped.

But it only worsened the night Ron turned to face her took her hand and kissed the back of it lightly before holding it in both his larger hands, looking in to her large brown eyes. She knew what was coming; but that made it all the worse and tears began to threaten to expose her emotions brewing beneath the sufface. "Hermione, I…" His eyes closed taking in a steadying breath, "You and I both know ... We can't… I can't d...do this anymore." He squeezed her hand as a tear rolled down her reddened cheeks but he did not stop it. "I want out." He said his voice stronger with certainty and an edge of finality.

She was frozen her hand still in his, the tears had stopped but the pain raged on inside of her permeating through every pore and leaching in to the air around her like a thick fog. She felt so much, so much she didn't know was even there before that moment. Love for him, love that had always been bubbling under the surface lying in wait for him to return it to her. Then a gut wrenching tearing in the pit in her stomach as her heart ripped apart. All of this emotion sent her head swimming as a small part of her was fighting through the fog, it was growing dragging her back to the moment and out of her thoughts. She was still staring in to his eyes, she'd lost all concept of time and she could well have been like that for hours the amount of ground she had covered in her head.

Then suddenly instinctively, without even a moments though Hermione slapped him hard around the face, he stumbled backwards. "Get out," She hissed.

He didn't move, Ron just stood wide eyed with his palm pressed to his cheek in disbelief, then she screamed "GET THE FUCK OUT RONALD WEASLEY, GET OUT!" She threw her stinging hand towards the door and turned her head away from him unable to look at him though her sudden outpour of tears that soaked her features. She felt the whole house stop. The door slammed. She didn't really want to slap him but she needed Ron to feel some of her pain, the pent-up anger and grief at the loss of their relationship. The guilt from her action joined the tight knot of emotions that hung in her chest pushing against her ribs as it grew. The recollection of their first kiss pierced through her memory dragging the guilt, of what she had just done, to the forefront with it. She could smell it the damp stone of the chamber, she could feel it her wet clothes clinging to her warm skin, her pulse hammering through her veins as the gap between Ron's face and her own disappeared. The moment their lips met Hermione felt a fresh weight of emotion land on top of her laced with pain and guilt and heartbreak and hate both for herself and for Ron.

A need grabbed her then, a need to leave, to get out, to go away, to hide and to not be found. She ran across the room to the large wooden drawn that sat under the window. Hermione dug through the draws, searching, clawing through the draw full of socks, various pairs falling to the floor and flying frantically around the room. She stopped momentarily as her fingers found the beautifully beaded bag. Recklessly she began yanking open every draw and cupboard around the room grabbing at her possessions and shoving them into the enchanted bag. Her treasured books were last to go in and with these she took more care; '_Hogwarts: A History'_, Dumbledore's '_Tales of Beedle and The Bard'_ and many other beautifully leather bound books. Before she put the last book in to the bag, her last possession left unpacked, she held it pressed to her chest silent tears began to roll falling on to the gold edged pages as a wave of pain hit her sending her crumpling to the ground, as the reality of what she was doing hit her square in the chest.

Footsteps pounded the stairs, they neared the top where Ron's room lay; they snapped her from her reverie instantaneously. Hermione pushed the last item in the obliging bag. She stood. She slung the bag over shoulder. Grabbed for her wand which lay on the now empty bedside cabinet. The door flew open Hermione stared straight in to Ginny's gasping face. Then with a loud crack she was gone.

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**So how was it? Please let me know what you thought with a review,**

**Em x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok so chapter two took a little longer than I hoped, I hope it's worth the wait.**

**Enjoy!**

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**CHAPTER 2-**

** Anywhere but There**

**_'Oh and pestilence is won when you are lost and I am gone,_**

**_And no hope, no hope will overcome'_**

**CRACK!**

She flew through the haze of the apparition as her whole body twisted and contorted. The pressure pushing against her skin did nothing to shrink the swelling emotional pain in the chest. The world spun by in a rush of colour, the wind burning in her tear laden eyes. It suddenly caught her attention that her apparition was taking considerably longer than usual. At this she began to panic, unsure of where she was going, Hermione could feel her limbs being pulled away from her torso threatening to leave it behind. She needed to focus, which was terribly difficult with her brain so full of feelings, emotions and questions. But she could remember; from a book she had once read; that she needed firm determination to regain control. Hermione pushed all of her determination into getting to the safest place she could think of, anywhere but there at the Burrow.

The tugging at her limbs lessened and as Hermione came to a halt she prayed she had splinched herself. She fell to the ground, hard. Her skull connected with metal. Darkness cocooned her as her consciousness fell away.

She emerged somewhere deep in her own psyche. It was hectic and deafening, it sounded as if thousands of people were all trying to shout over each other. Suddenly images started to appear from the gloom, images that no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get away from watching. She watched repeatedly, her own hand slap Ron with a sort of detached feeling, all the anger that surged her to do it having gone. Then she saw the argument in The Forest of Dean, this time all the pain and guilt fell back on her as she watched Ron leave and herself not follow. She could feel it as her eyes welled and her breath rasped in her throat. A longing for him burst inside of her, as one loud lone shout. Her whole head screamed _"No, please stop!" _Blackness seeped back around the edges until the scenes faded away and silence fell across her mind.

Hermione was suddenly very conscious of the fact that she had hit her head when she had landed; she winced as her fingertips explored the wound at the back of it. It was damp and sticky, and her hair was tangled and matted around it. She examined her hand as her focus came and went, it was coated in sticky browning blood. Hermione concluded to herself that she was no longer bleeding quite so much as she had been. She looked about her for something to wipe her hand on, but conceded that her own trouser leg was the best option.

She thought what she must look like now sat in the dirt, blood down her neck and staining her jeans. Hermione couldn't help but wish that Molly were here, she'd know her to make her feel better. A small sad smile spread across her dusty face as she imagined what Molly would say.

_"Oh Hermione, love, let me have a look at you," _Molly would say _"Oh no, how on earth did you get in this mess, dear?" _Hermione smiled weakly at her imaginary Molly. She knew that Molly would instantly have conjured bandages and warm water. And then once she was all done she would have wrapped her arms around Hermione and said _"There, there dear, that's better isn't it. You're all alright now." _Molly would then kiss her softly on the top of the head filling her with a warm mothered feeling before asking _"Now then, how about a cuppa tea?" _

Hermione had subconsciously wrapped her arms around herself in a one person embrace, a tear rolled silently down her face. She wanted so very much to go back to the Burrow to be mothered by Molly and offered endless cups of tea. _Well, why couldn't she?_ She began to think. _It was just a silly argument, Molly wouldn't mind._ Hermione let her mind run freely down this track heading ever closer to the Burrow. _How she would love a warm comforting cup of tea._

"No!" She thought so forcefully that the word just tumbled out of her mouth, her hands flew to her face clasping over her lips as if to push it back in. She couldn't go back, couldn't see Ron. And the flood of emotions drowned out any warm feelings once again. Guilt and self pity fell over her, she had left everyone she loved behind; Ron, Harry and Ginny. Hermione sobbed freely. Her hands swiped at her hot tears, scratching git and dust in to her skin from her dirty palms. For a brief moment she wondered what she must look like sat curled in the dirt her back resting against a large pillar, blood still warm and sticky on her neck and new scratches on the dirty face. She discarded the thought almost as quickly as it had come, realising that she just didn't care anymore and neither did anyone else.

The speed of her thoughts began to slow and Hermione started to take in her surroundings, how had she not noticed where she was before. She was sat against one of two enormous stone pillars each topped a large stone winged boar that looked down at her with its fixed eyes and in-between the pillars were a pair of vast iron gates decorated with the Hogwarts crest encircled with great swirls. Her heart swelled as she gazed up at the gates. A feeling of safety wrapped around her like a big thick blanket and her tears stopped.

Her head snapped round as a crack of a twig echoed around her. Hermione jumped to her feet; her head rushed as she did; and she drew her wand pointing it with her shaking hand at the point from which the sound had come. "Sh...Show you s.." She trailed off as her head span and she reached for the gate to remain upright.

A rustle that sounded like someone walking across the undergrowth with bare feet grew closer. Gradually a girl appeared, bare feet first. Her legs were clad in pale pink and green woollen polka dot tights, she also wore purple denim shorts that finished no less than two inches above her knees, as more of her appeared Hermione could see a large grey knitted jumper embroidered with small pink flowers as well as a bronze amulet tied round her neck with a piece of blue ribbon. There was a see through yellow bag over her shoulder that appeared to be empty. The girls face then came in to view along with her mass of wavy, dirty blonde hair that swung freely at her slim waist. Her silvery protuberant eyes were looking out at Hermione curiously, with a soft smile playing on her lips.

"Luna?" Hermione's shaking wand hand fell by her side relief sweeping over her. "What are you doing, how long have you been here?" She blurted out not knowing what to ask first. Luna walked serenely over to her, her tight clad toes expertly dodging any sharp gravel.

"A while" she spoke dreamily. Hermione panicked how much had the girl seen? "I saw you crying," she answered Hermione's unasked question. "I was sat in the bushes looking for Wood Nymphs, I would have come out earlier but you looked kinda busy and I didn't want to intrude." The familiarity of Luna's voice was comforting to Hermione as its soft lilt caressed her ears and racing mind. "What happened?" Luna's head tilted to look at her.

"A bad apparition, I hit my head," Hermione swayed as remembered her injury; she tilted her head to show the younger girl. Luna's dreamy smile left her face the moment her big eyes graced the wound, blood had soaked its way down Hermione's pale blue cotton shirt and her stuck her hair flat to her head in places. The two of them looked at each other for a moment awkwardly, before Hermione trembled and fell to her knees.

"You should be in the hospital wing you know," She uttered as she sunk down next to Hermione, crossing her legs nimbly and laying her bag by her side, Hermione followed suit. Luna drew some bandages from the tip of her wand, and pulled a handkerchief from her pocket, "Can I?" She held her wand in one hand and the hankie in the other, Hermione nodded wearily, "Aguamenti" She pointed the wand at the hankie dampening it. The girl's fingers were light on the back of Hermione's head and neck removing the congealed blood before she fastened the bandages in an Alice-band style.

For a while after that they just sat and looked at each other; Hermione reacquainting herself with Luna's eccentricities and Luna wondering silently how Hermione arrived at this state really. The silence was companionable, both girls lost in thought, perfectly comfortable in each other's company.

Hermione was pleased that Luna hadn't asked anymore questions about her state but didn't want to risk a question arising in Luna's mind, so she began the conversation turning it on to Luna. "Where are your shoes Luna?" She spoke gesturing towards Luna's shoeless feet.

Luna looked unfazed by the question as she did with anything, "I've got used to it now, after the Nargles kept taking them…" She trailed of vaguely fiddling with her toes unconsciously.

"But what about you feet, doesn't it hurt and your tights must get so dirty?" The preoccupation calmed Hermione's emotions as she focused entirely on the present and unravelling the great mystery that was Luna Lovegood.

"Oh no, they don't, I've enchanted them," Luna held up her foot with one hand while rubbing dirt into her tights with the other, "See, it's very effective." She seemed pleased with Hermione's slightly awed reaction. "It's very freeing, not having shoes; maybe you should try it sometime." Luna smiled at Hermione, who nodded but had begun to wonder why the younger girl had taken to carrying an empty bag around with her. She looked at the bag it seemed to shimmer in the warm summer light; it was completely see through and made from some kind of yellow plastic.

"Do you like it?" Luna stroked the bag fondly, "It's a muggle bag, but I enchanted it, look." Luna's pale hands reached in to the bag and appeared to disappear, when they returned they held a large leather bound book with the title _'Useful Charms and Enchantments- for around the home' _printed proudly on the front with as small moving image of a large homely witch beaming up at her sat beneath. "The enchantments are from here. Have you read it?" Luna handed the large book to Hermione. She flicked through the pages and landed on a page which had had its corner turned down. The heading read _'The Anti-Dirt and Scratch Enchantment- Good for use on dining tables and work surfaces'. _ Hermione smiled at the girl next to her feeling a strange sort of admiration for her.

"No, I don't think I have." Hermione giggled, it felt good to laugh. Then an odd thought filtered in the Hermione's brain, she knew full well why she was here, but why was Luna. It was the middle of the summer and both girls had finished school. "Luna?" Hermione began handing the book back to her. "What are you doing at Hogwarts in the summer?"

The girls shining silver eyes looked at her happily as she placed the book back in her own enchanted bag. "I'm studying all of the creatures that live here; it's quite a unique habitat." She gazed carefully round at the trees as if hoping to spot something, "I'm pretty sure there are creatures here that even Hagrid doesn't know about..." Luna carried on dreamily about various creatures that Hermione was quite certain didn't exist, but she did not say anything she was just happy listening to her friend's enthusiastic ramblings as they both sat in the dust, in the now late afternoon sun.

"Are you staying?" Hermione looked at Luna's quizzical face, "It's just if you are, dinner is served soon." She smiled getting to her feet and hooking her bag over her shoulder. Hermione hesitated. "I'm sure you share can the dormitory with me if you are."

"Ok, thank you Luna." Hermione's beamed getting unsteadily to her feet; Luna put a supporting arm around her waist. "You know, I don't think I've eaten since breakfast."She spoke casually. They pushed through the gate and walked through the shadows cast in the low sun, up the green lawns towards the castle.

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**SO, how was it?**

**Please review**

**Em xx**


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